Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Falling in Love

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Months ago, speaking to a friend on a warm Hawaiian night on the lanai, she told me, "Sometimes you meet someone who really makes you understand the phrase, falling in love," and that got me thinking. There's no rhyme or reason to it; you notice it at the oddest moments. When you're coming down the escalator and he's standing there at the bottom, smiling; when you're at a crowded bar and his words are the only sounds you hear; when he furrows his brows in frustration while writing an  important work e-mail; when he's having a way-too-unnecessarily-long conversation with the 7-11 guy; when your eyes meet while brushing your teeth, getting ready to go to sleep. Everyday moments. There's no guarantee that once you hit the floor, he's going to be there to catch you. There's no written contract, no legal bindings. You might hit the floor in pain, dusting yourself off, mumbling, "ouch." But you blindly trust he will. That's why it's called falling in love. The world around you looks like a blur, and nothing else, during those moments together, matter. 
You know you're in love when you want the best for him. You want him to be happy; with or without you. You want him to follow his dreams and do what makes him happy. You feel a sense of pride when he's accomplished something he's been working hard at. When you hear him sniffle, you want to run to his side with soup, thick blankets, and wooly socks to take care of him. You put aside your selfish desires to have all his attention, all the time, and support him in his endeavors that don't necessarily concern you. 
Love is a funny thing. It forces you to put all your eggs in one basket, no matter how often your mother warned you about that. You ignore that little voice inside your head that's screaming, "You're in too deep, this is too soon, you're still young." You look back at all those things you did wrong in your past relationships, and you squeeze your eyes shut, cross your fingers, and try to just get it right this time because there's nothing you want more than to make this work. It makes you want to be a better person, not to change who you are, but change yourself to be a better version of yourself. You do the trust fall. Cross your arms over your chest, and just let yourself fall into the arms that you trust will catch you. Call me naive, call me a dreamer, call me what you will, but love is something I will never stop believing in.

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